4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
