just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
