Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he just fucked me for my cheese.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
