yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
