Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
did you just send me my own nude
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
