he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The adults are the big ones right?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
