Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Slut skills are useful in every country.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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