It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
