thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize