i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
