my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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