I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
