Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
A bitchslap is in order.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
