My room smells like vodka and shame
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
