Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
