Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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