His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
it hurts more in the daytime
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
