I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
