He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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