did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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