Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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