I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
