Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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