so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
