I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
