We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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