READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my shit smells like andre
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
