drinking out of a sandbucket again
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
