it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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