Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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