Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
