Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
