do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
