he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wish you could order shots online.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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