His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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