how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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