Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
