Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
