just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
This is the high leading the old right now
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
