it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
