grandma shit on top of the toilet
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
