I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
