she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
