laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
