Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
