I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
