need another drink. this is the easiest way
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
