Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
