she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
