you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
