My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
