how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
