the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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