I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think my moral compass just broke
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
