just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
