There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
