I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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