someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
