Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
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